Saturday, April 22, 2006


Why write about the subject of addiction here? Because to be blunt I'm an addict.

addiction, according to one definition I've heard, is a compulsive behavior which delivers short term rewards but has long term destructive consequences.

How do I know that a behavior is compulsive?

I know that when a person (like myself) can see that his behavior is destructive to himself yet he continues to do that behavior even when it causes him pain then the behavior has become addictive (compulsive). Thus we become addicted to alcohol or drugs or work or sex... Any and all of these (and more) in a search to fill some tearing void in our lives... Well that is the excuse some people use but mostly for one reason or another at the beginning of our addiction we who are addicted chose to engage in one of those activities that short circuit the risk reward feed back cycle that keeps most of us in balance.

I believe (from experience) that laziness is at least partly to blame for our (my) addiction(s). If I was more willing to work and be patient (especially be patient) then I could have most any reward I desire in a manner that was not destructive to myself or others. But to be honest I am lazy and always in the past have looked for shortcuts. And to my certain knowledge the shortcuts have for me always led to traps some of which I have never since finding them been able to escape.

Well that is my confession for the day... I shall not directly tell the nature of my addiction but shall from time to time write about it even if I have come to belief that there are times when writing is a sort of avoidance behavior for me....

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